Attention Texans

As you are probably aware by now, Hurricane Rita missed Houston. Hopefully the three million of you who evacuated are safely back home. I hate trying to drive out of downtown after an Astros game, so the idea of three million people all trying to get out of somewhere at the same time isn't at all appealing.

The good news is that your homes and your city were all fine when you got back. If you were watching the national networks, you probably heard the news that the U.S. missed a bullet on Rita.

Well, that's not true, as you know. Rita just veered east. She came ashore at Holly Beach, Louisiana, a few miles south of Lake Charles. We here in Southwest Louisiana are the guys who took the bullet, along with the Golden Triangle area of your fine state. My purpose here isn't to whine about that. Quite the opposite, that's what good neighbors do for one another, sometimes taking a figurative bullet for the other guy. Shucks, don't mention it. Everyone gets their turn in the barrel. This one was ours. We know you'd do the same for us, and if you wait long enough, I'm sure you'll get your chance.

No, my purpose here is simply to get you caught up on what the national news folks didn't tell you about what's been going on next door across the "Sabine picket fence" for the past few weeks.

So pull up a cup of that weak coffee you all seem to like to drink and let's fellowship. Truth be told, we here in Southwest Louisiana like just about everything about you Texans except for your coffee and your insistence on spelling boudin with an "a." We're even getting used to your famous "Texas turnarounds" too since we've got one of our very own right outside the new L'Auberge du Lac casino. We put that there just so you'd feel more at home when you come visit us.

First, a little bit about those national media types. See, there's a standing rule they generally play by. It sort of goes like this: In terms of what makes the national news, 10 New Yorkers equals about 20 people from L.A. which equals about a thousand people from anywhere else in the U.S. which equals about 35,000 people from any country that doesn't have a non-stop from JFK.

So the deaths of all those people from the earthquake in Pakistan roughly equals the death toll from Hurricane Katrina, which equals what happens when, oh, say, 20 Angelinos keel over from a bad wheel of brie or some construction crew accidentally knocks one of those Manhattan building gargoyles over on 10 unsuspecting Mid-City pedestrians.

Rita? Well, she was pretty interesting to them as long as she had the barrel cocked at Houston. We're talking almost 5-million people over your way. But the second she turned her attention over to us, with our paltry 225,000 Cajuns? And then not even a single death directly caused by the hurricane??

Yesterday's news, baby. Hasta la vista, vaqueros. Sure, they had all their satellite trucks already parked in Galveston, so in order for it not to be a total loss, they showed a few lawn chairs knocked over and a few empty bottles bobbling up against the seawall. But that got old quickly, so back to Katrina they all went. Katrina at least killed a bunch of people and flooded lots of buildings and tossed around some casinos and had all those silly politicians cussing and wagging fingers at each other. That's always pretty interesting.

In truth a few network types did make it over our way during Rita, but most of them used to work for us here at KPLC, so we figure it was kind of an excuse for them to come back on the networks' nickel and visit their old pals here.

You really can't blame NBC and Fox and all the other networks. Heck, for a hurricane, Rita turned out to be pretty boring. We at KPLC know that first-hand. We were here for the whole thing. Rode her out just like a prize bull at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo and we haven't stopped covering the aftermath of her visit since then.

So let me tell you what we've seen from our front row seat. Might want to take another sip of that bad coffee to stay awake. See, there's not much to tell in terms of the kind of hurricane network news stories you've gotten used to.

The reason that no one was killed here and you haven't heard much about us since Rita passed through is that our public and private leadership and our local law enforcement & media are pretty good at what we all do. More importantly, Southwest Louisiana is mostly filled up with smart, caring, selfless, hard-working, good-humored and quietly philosophical people.

When the word was put out to evacuate, that's just what folks here did. After the storm, we didn't loot each other, we helped each other. We cleared trees and rebuilt our damaged electrical and water and sewer infrastructure and patched up our roofs. We went about the business of dusting ourselves off and getting back to normal as quickly as possible.

And by the way, that includes the awesome people of Cameron Parish, who got swamped by the storm surge and took catastrophic damage as severe as anything Katrina dished out. But you gotta know Cameron Parish people to understand. The ones that got whacked the hardest and lost it all? They're the ones who kept telling us to aim the camera at the "other guy" whom they would insist had taken it on the chin even worse than they did.

One of the great things about living in Lake Charles is that we get to hang around Cameron Parish people. There aren't that many of them by Houston or even Lake Charles standards, but they're among the most special people in the world. Maybe it's because they live in a place which even under normal circumstances is more water than land. They play as hard as they work. You watch. Cameron Parish is still a mess, but they'll get it all cleaned up with a little help from their friends. They'll rebuild it better than ever, and there will be crawfish boils and duck hunting and shrimping and fais do do's down there before you know it. Cameron Parish is an American Treasure, and it'll take more than Rita to flatten it.

So that's it. Not much network viewer intrigue about a bunch of functional people who work and play well together, but that's pretty much what you've got over here in Southwest Louisiana. So as we open back up for business, we hope you'll come visit us. The "welcome" sign is out, and we especially like it when Texans come our way. No matter how you measure it, you're our favorite guests. We especially like it when you stay a while, and we like it best of all when one of you likes it here so much that you decide to hang your hat here permanently.

So come play at one of our fine gambling establishments. Keep those guns oiled and rods cleaned; we'll have the hunting and fishing back up to snuff soon. Don't forget your clubs; we've got some of the finest new designer courses in America here. Rita was kind in that regard and spared us too many divots.

If you read my last blog, you know that I consider Southwest Louisiana the Houston super-region's Gateway to Louisiana. We hope you'll start thinking of us as your newest easternmost suburb. After all, as Rita proved, we really are a great place to live, work and play.

After you drop your paycheck at our casinos or racetrack, here's an even surer bet. Consider Southwest Louisiana as a place to make your next "Houston area" investment. I cordially invite you to plant your business or expansion here. If you’d like more information, write me at jserra@kplctv.com and I’ll make sure we get you all the info you need.

We're just up the road, and we're Louisiana's best place to do business. That’s not chamber of commerce talk. That’s for real. As Rita proved, though we play like Louisianians, we live and work a lot like Texans in our corner of the state.

Except that we have better coffee.